I often find myself sharing in yoga class a theme or deeper understanding of the energy body. In the past week few weeks, we explored the both the Throat and Brow chakras. The throat chakra represents truth as well clear, authentic communication within and without. The brow chakra is also known as the 3rd eye center, the point between the eyebrows where we are often instructed to gaze in meditation. This energy center is the one that brings forward wisdom, discernment and intuitive insight.
Inevitably, each time I prepare for sharing, something directly related appears in my life to deepen my understanding in a way that can only happen when one has applied a concept to practical experience.
In recent weeks I was faced with a personal challenge – I had been biting my tongue for quite some time with a friend. I needed to speak up about something that was bothering me and had been for a long time. Yet, I kept avoiding speaking up because I was afraid either they wouldn’t understand or, even worse, they may not fully hear me or, perhaps, they may even try to turn it around to somehow “make it my fault”.
As with any event in our lives, I am reminded again and again, there is always a deeper meaning, a deeper truth to what is happening. What shows is self on the surface is a reflection of healing that must come from within.
So, the question becomes for each of us as we face daily challenges: “How do I handle this challenge, this experience, consciously?”
One of my favorite authors, Caroline Myss, says in her book, Anatomy of the Spirit: “The goal of becoming a conscious person is not to outwit death, nor even to become immune to disease. The goal is to be able to handle any and all changes in our lives – and in our bodies- without fear, looking only to absorb the message of truth contained in the change.”
She also suggests: “Learn to recognize when you are being influenced by a fear pattern. Immediately detach from that fear by observing its influence on your mind and emotions; then make choices that weaken the influence of those fears.”
As I found within myself the courage to make my voice heard, I allowed it to come from a place of love and compassion, yet, at the same time, not holding back out of “fear of hurting the other person’s feelings.” There is a difference between finding a way to be in your truth in kindness and simply saying nothing at all out of concern or protection of the other(s) involved.
Ultimately we each must find a way to be kind and true and also realize that is also not our responsibility (nor are we truly capable of) to ensure that the other part perceives the information in a way that they will choose to change or correct the problem.
The truth is, we are not responsible for how we “make” others feel. We are the only ones who can assign meaning to our interactions with others. We always have a choice in how we perceive and react to life’s situations.
That does not mean being intentionally mean, but it does mean not holding back in ways that our own needs or feelings are ignored or pushed down or unacknowledged for the sole sake of protecting the other person or out of fear for what reaction speaking the truth might bring forth.
When we hold our voice, we also give away our power. When we shy away from situations or avoid confrontation out of fear, we give away our power. The way to reclaim it is not simply by turning the tables and overpowering them right back.
Instead, the empowerment comes from a place within, a place that lets go of all the times in the past that similar, yet, different scenario has played out in our lives and embracing the lesson that is being presented in the very moment. Empowerment comes from allowing your authentic self to shine through, without fear and without attachment to the outcome of the issue at hand.
The healing comes when we begin to realize the deeper meaning, and deeper lesson for whatever circumstances are in front of us. This empowerment begins with a noticing, a noticing of what patterns are present in our choices and a discernment of whether or not we are acting out of fear or out of trust in a higher source. The healing comes when, little by little, we catch ourselves in our negative patterns and habits, pause and begin to make a different choice.
Ultimately as we step forward into our own empowerment, facing whatever may be in front of us, we are called to do so from a place of trusting our intuition and acting upon it. Also, as we move into that place of empowerment, we must detach from what our idea of what the outcome should be and begin to trust, fully and completely that if we are acting from a motivation of the highest and greatest good, that the outcome will present itself in its own timing.